ABDICATING

"White-crowned Sparrow", acrylic,
by Peter Mathios

    According to one dictionary, to abdicate means to give up being a queen or king, and sometimes I would love to stop trying to be the king of my life. In fact, I wonder if the best way to live is to let life itself be the king instead of little me. Life, in all its vastness and mystery and supremacy, surely knows more about what’s best for me than I do. Me trying to be the king of every second of every day is like one wave trying to preside over the whole ocean, or a single star trying to rule the endless universe. Each moment of my life is fashioned from an immeasurable number of sources and causes, and it seems bizarre to me that I sometimes think I can control all these forces, waving my scepter like some kind of clueless king. I indulge in this silly charade every day, but occasionally I decide to set my make-believe crown aside and let the only real ruler, the everlasting universe -- some call it God, some Allah, some simply Now -- hold sway. Always, its astonishing what this remarkable Queen-King can do.