On Teaching: "It's Not about Me"

Today I had a rather discouraging class with the 9th graders (interruptions, silliness, etc.), but I'm almost glad it happened, because it enabled me to remember a major truth about life: It's not about me. It's never about me. Nothing in this vast universe revolves around this separate ego called "me", because everything -- everything -- is joined together in one harmonious whole. No matter how discouraged I might feel in my perceived role as a separate, vulnerable teacher, the universe continually dances on in its agreeable, well-balanced way. My feeling discouraged at the end of the 9th grade class is about as silly as a single wave in the ocean feeling discouraged because it wasn't able to move just the way it wanted to. Obviously, the greatness of the ocean is not dependent on any one individual wave, but on the harmonious movement of all its immense waters. One small wave may not look especially wonderful, but as an integral part of the spectacular ocean, it is always playing an important role. It's always doing exactly what it should be doing. In a real sense, it's always perfect, and, in a real sense, the same is true for me. My 9th grade English class is not a separate enterprise that a separate entity called "a teacher" is solely responsible for. My students and I are always part of the pleasantly spinning universe, and, no matter how we may feel as individuals, everything that happens in my classroom needs to happen, must happen, and, because of that, will always bring beneficial results (though perhaps not the results I had planned on). Some marvelous benefits came, or will eventually come, from this class that so disheartened me, and if I weren't so focused on "me", I might be able to notice and appreciate them.