A REALLY OLD YOUNG GUY

     I am legally 73 years old, but according to an astrophysicist friend of mine, I’ve been around for billions of years. In fact, I’m not just a senior citizen, but a truly ancient guy, as old as the stars. Scientific studies say that my body is composed of approximately 7,000,000,000, 000,000, 000,000,000 atoms, most of which, my friend tells me, came into being when giant stars exploded several billion years ago. Apparently these atoms browsed around the universe for eons before they somehow assembled and settled together in 1941 to produce an arrangement named “Hamilton Salsich”. Who knows -- some of my atoms might have made up parts of prehistoric mountains, or the kidney of king, or a wee shrew’s eyes, before they luckily linked up to bring a baby to life in St. Louis 73 years ago. What’s equally amazing is that some studies suggest that the 37 trillion cells in my body are replaced with brand new ones about every ten years, which means, unless I’m missing something, that my body is now only about 10 years old. If I understand this correctly, I’ve been around for billions of years, but I’m still just a kid. I’m ancient, but still – literally – in the springtime of life. (Does this mean I don’t deserve senior rates at the movies??)